Lane talks to Belle about "Resurgence"; a queer survivor led podcast

Lane co-produced the podcast telling the perspectives of queer survivors of sexual violence (co-designed with BRISSC). We explore barriers to support, and how connection leads to healing & community.

[IMAGE ID: A close up selfie photo of Lane, who wears makeup, has dark curly hair, a septum piercing and sparkly large star shaped earrings.]

Listen back to the program aired February 16th 2025 on 4ZZZ; or read the transcript below.

Belle 00:00

Hello. You're listening to Only Human for 4ZZZ and Zed Digital. I'm here with Lane, who is one of the contributors, co-hosts for the BRISSC podcast "Resurgence". Thank you for joining me Lane!

Lane 00:18

No worries. Thank you for having me.

Belle 00:20

So would you first like to just start by introducing yourself to our listeners?

Lane 00:27

I'm Lane. I'm 31, I'm non binary, and I use they/them, pronouns.I am a lived experience advocate, and I really like to use my experiences to help others, to help improve services and just to educate others.

Belle 00:46

Yeah, amazing! What has led you to produce or co-produce the podcast "Resurgence"?

Lane 00:55

So in, I think 2023, or maybe 2022, I'm not sure, I took part in a queer therapy group that was called Bloom. It was really wonderful, and everyone was so amazing there. As the group wrapped up, there was some discussion around creating a zine or creating a podcast. Unfortunately, the zine never got off the ground, but we did get the podcast off the ground. So just a few of us from the Bloom group, as well as some BRISSC workers, because got together and we co-designed this podcast. We really wanted to create a resource for other queer survivors and people who work with queer survivors.

Belle 01:37

Yeah, and I've had a listen, so I just wanted to ask you some questions around the content that you're covering. Maybe first, could you tell us how have queer survivor’s voices been silenced historically, and also currently, and how does this podcast amplify their voices?

Lane 02:03

I think there's a lot of different ways that being queer has intersected with people's experience with sexual violence and how that has negatively impacted them. I think a lot of times, survivors of sexual violence have had our queer identities pathologized, either our sexuality or our gender is looked at as a perversion or as a way to avoid something. I think that a lot of people look at trans and non binary survivors and things that we've changed our agenda to be to avoid being sexualized, or because what we went through messed us up and we don't. But these sort of messages make it really hard for queer people to speak up about their experiences,and at times, our experiences with sexual violence have been, I guess, silenced or considered less valid because of our identity as well.

I think there's also a lot of issues with sexual violence within the queer community, and it's really ignored and taboo to speak about. There's ways that sexual violence is gendered, and we shouldn't ignore that when we talk about sexual violence. But at the same time, people of all genders can be both perpetrators and victims, and because of assumptions around that, it can also be hard for us to speak about our experiences.There is also other assumptions, not only about who can be a victim and who can be a perpetrator, but there's added complexities around the criminal justice process, with queer people experiencing more stigma and discrimination than other survivors of sexual violence, and there can be a lot of disbelief, especially for trans women, and then add in other complexities to the situation, such as thinking about whether you're going to out your attacker or not wanting to harm the queer community, can make it really hard for us to speak up.

So there's just a lot of different factors involved around sexual violence and queer identity that make it really hard for queer survivors to speak up. I think it's been really good to be able to have this space for queer survivors to explore what they've been through and also explore their identity as well and also,while I've mentioned some of these negative impacts on people who have experienced sexual some sexual trauma, there is also a lot of healing that can be found within the queer community. So it's just a really complex topic, and I think sometimes the conversations that we've had around sexual trauma and sexual violence haven't really captured that for many people.

Belle 05:15

Yeah, totally. And I want to say thank you again for coming on the program to talk about these really important issues that aren't talked about enough. What is the role of community in ending cycles of violence and the ways that community can support the healing of queer survivors of sexual violence?

Lane 05:39

I think that, honestly, it's a bit cliche, but we do heal together. We heal in community. We don't heal in isolation. And I personally found a lot of healing in community. And when I say community, I don't necessarily even mean like in-person, creating groups and stuff like that. It can be broader than that, like, as a neurodivergent and disabled person, sometimes going out to events is not necessarily accessible, especially when I am so scared of connecting with others due to my trauma history. It can also include things like social media, it can include things like traditional forms of media, such as TV or books or music and I guess, being able to see myself and others, see how they interact with others, and how, even more importantly, see their relationship with themselves, was really, really healing to me.

Lane 06:43

It creates a place to share and be understood and to connect with others who have gone through other similar things at the same time, we do have this idea of the queer community being all safe and healing. Personally, for me, that is very true, but I think a way that we can help to end the cycles of violence and help support queer survivors is to have these conversations, is to have discussions around the intersections of being queer and experiencing sexual violence, is to share our stories and to create spaces for us to be heard.

Belle 07:31

Yeah, and I think that when there's a lot of misconceptions or misunderstandings about a community, that sense of solidarity and togetherness and belonging is really important. In terms of trans survivors of sexual violence, I understand that they can sometimes be excluded from healing spaces. How does that impact their social and mental health?

Lane 08:14

So personally, I feel like I can only really focus on my perspective as a non binary person, especially as one who does, I guess, pass though, I really don't like that term, but in my experience, I've seen a lot of services that will only mention women on their website or on their flyers and stuff like that, and I have a lot of thoughts that will race through my head when I see that, "will I have to hide my gender identity to get treatment"? "If they find out my true gender identity, will they stop supporting me"? And this can be such a balancing act, because many people find that there are no services, or there are so few services out there, and so many trans people, trans and non binary people, will find that they're excluded from all spaces. And this itself is really, really traumatizing for people who experience sexual violence, because it's just another way that we're rejected, another way that we are not believed or not heard. It's so hard to reach out when you have experienced sexual trauma.

There are so many messages around sexual trauma and disbelief of sexual trauma, that adding this extra barrier to getting help just adds more to that disconnect. And I really believe that you need to be able to bring your whole self to a healing space. You need to be your authentic self, and if you're having all these questions running around your head, even if you are able to access the service, you can't really properly heal if you can't bring your whole self to the service. And I know that there's a lot of trans people who end up being completely excluded from services that they will experience, misgendering, from services that might support women, and just total exclusion from other services as well, just around transphobia and stuff like that. And I think, as I mentioned previously, around how our queer identities can intersect with sexual violence, it's just another it's just another way to harm people who have gone through so much it.

Yeah, I think it's really important for us to endeavor to create these spaces that are there for gender diverse people,especially because gender diverse people are at such high risk of violence. But it does seem to be a pretty big gap in services, and I do feel like there are a lot of services that are starting to move towards being a lot more inclusive, but it there's still a long way to go with that.

Belle 11:34

In terms of finding safer spaces and spaces for healing, how does it help to talk to somebody who has, you know, similar background to you, who might be queer or, you know, have a perspective that you share?

Lane 11:56

Honestly - it helped a lot. My support worker through BRISSC was queer, and it just I didn't even realize until I had them as my support worker how much of a difference that would make. I just felt like there was I didn't have to explain things to them. They already understood those things. That were already part of the community. For example, we had conversations around the way that the global political situation was going, and I knew that they'd get it because they are a queer person, and I think this was also reflected in the group that I did- Bloom, where we all had diverse genders, and I felt myself being reflected in the people around me, I felt like people understood, and it really helped me. I think that was a big part of why the space, this space, was so healing for me.

Belle 13:27

I sometimes think that there's a type of energy or labor that goes into healing, and when you're dealing with professionals who don't necessarily share your experiences, that there's extra work that you have to put into explaining your situation and your trauma. So it sounds like it's been affirming for you to go to BRISSC and have that support. I guess I just wanted to touch on trauma informed neurodivergent affirming therapy for survivors of sexual violence, what is involved in that?

Lane 14:09

I think that's really true. I noticed that I wasn't having to do that education of the person that I was seeking support from,because they were part of the community that I'm part of, and I think that is plays a big part in how trauma informed neurodivergent, affirming therapy. I think it's therapy that, above all else, goes at the pace of the client therapists who can understand how hard it can be for their clients to connect with them and recognize the signs of complex trauma and work with the client. So many people with complex trauma experience top down therapies that try to bypass the deep emotional learnings that we have for a reason and therapists who are able to hold space or these learnings, not pathologize our beliefs and recognize that these beliefs and behaviors that we have, even if they have a significant cost to us, worked well for us at some point in our lives. I think it's really important that we're not pathologized and understood that we can be multiply neurodivergent.

We can have complex trauma, but we can also have ADHD or autism, and that healing our trauma isn't going to stop us from being neurodivergent. I feel like it goes without saying, but still has to be said that it should be person centered. It should be about what we need, what we like. It shouldn't be about making us neurotypical. It shouldn't be about forcing us to fit the mold, but working with our differences, working around our differences, and just meeting us where we are. I think it's so important for therapists to be able to hold space for us. I have had so many experiences where my symptoms, my traits, what I'm going through, has been so pathologised that it's made me really heavily lean into masking, there's been times where I can't share the feelings that I'm experiencing. I can't share the pain I have, because I know it's not going to be met with understanding. And I feel like that was a big difference with my experience with BRISSC I didn't feel like that with my worker, they were able to hold that space for me.

Belle 16:46

And as you mentioned previously, that it's not as though there's a straightforward process of healing, that it's often not linear, but in terms of our own journeys, that we're not always helped by the people who are supposed to help us, and speaking just from my experience in terms of complex mental illness, but I imagine that there's added layers of complexity. They say, "Do no harm" in terms of the medical profession, but in terms of allied health they can sometimes also contribute to the harm that people experience. So I just want to, yeah, again just really appreciate these perspectives. Really important for us to hear for non survivors and people who want to be supportive of their loved ones. Your episode of "Resurgence" explores your story, did you feel comfortable telling us a little bit about your journey, your personal journey of healing? I understand that this talks about how childhood sexual assault has impacted you as an adult, like going through high school and adulthood and it was really heartwarming to hear the healing, that you've taken into your own hands and achieved a sense of peace that can be really hard for survivors to find. So I really appreciated your perspectives after getting a bit of a sneak peek into "Resurgence." Yeah, do you feel comfortable sharing a little bit further about that?

Lane 18:53

Yeah, I'm happy to share about that. So I identify as neurodivergent. I identify as a person who has ADHD, I am autistic, and then also my family was very lovely, but they had their own stuff going on as well. And then on top of that, I did experience child sexual assault as a very young child, and I just found that it I didn't really experience a sense of safety.People were scary. People are scary, and connecting with people is so hard, and I never learnt to have a good relationship with myself and and struggled with other people. Even I did have I am very lucky, and I've always had a good amount of friends. Oh, from at least high school onwards, I've had a good amount of friends, but even the people who are close to me, it can be very hard for me to interact with. Unfortunately, the number one indicator of success in therapy is the connection between the therapist and the client. So when you can't connect with others, that can make it really hard to access therapy.

Lane 20:19

And yeah, like, it took a lot for me to get to the place where I am today, and I didn't think I'd be able to get there.There is still a lot of ways that interacting with others is very hard for me at times. But I think ,for me, it would I started to focus more on making want or needing those experiences to be less scary, but more about learning to improve my relationship with myself and juggle comforting myself and being kind to myself and not pushing myself too far out of my safety zone, but also realizing that these things are really valuable and that I can have these things in my life and get the benefits of these things while still having to navigate that situation.

Belle

Yeah, I guess we're coming towards the end of our time together, with our interview.In terms of where you find yourself in life now, and having been supported by BRISSC for a few years, it sounds like there aren't too many places like BRISSC, unfortunately. In terms of gaining access to having someone support you, a support worker, or what kind of organization? How would you describe BRISSC, and the services it can offer?

Lane 22:16

I just say it's a really good service. Personally, I know that I want to hold space for the fact that survivors are all very individual, and just because I've had a really good experience with brisk doesn't necessarily mean that all survivors will have a really good experience with BRISSC, but I did find it neuro-affirming. I did find it really queer friendly. I did find it really neurodivergent friendly, and unfortunately, yeah, there is a lot of struggles with finding spaces like this. My advice for people who might be listening to this, who are struggling to find support that is neuro

-`affirming, that does meet them where they are, is to look out for queer therapists or or queer organizations.

Look out for organizations that do mention neurodivergency, which do mention complex trauma, and create those connections in community, I find it sometimes some of the best support, or some of the best ways I've found support, is asking other people who have been through similar things. I just pop up a post somewhere being like, "hey, like, I'm going through this. Does anyone know of this"? And even now, like, I have, like, with all my queer friends and stuff like that who are involved in, like, lived experience advocacy and other parts of the mental health sector will just like, shoot off like messages to each other, like someone messaged me the other day saying, like, "do you know of any free DBT resources?" I know at the same time that I am privileged by having these connections, but I think at the same time, we're in a really, I was going to say wonderful, and we're not in a wonderful spot at the moment, but I think having the internet and being able to reach out and ask for other people's experiences and ask for personal recommendations is really helpful.

Belle 24:33

Yeah, and like you said, that struggle with connecting with other people can be such a barrier, so just having that ability to develop stronger connections and fulfilling relationships is so important in the healing journey. So Lane, I was just wondering, do you have a final message of support to any queer survivors of sexual violence who are going through the process of healing?

Lane 25:02

I guess for me, like I think, it ended up being cut from my episode, because if I kept everything I wanted in it, it would have just gone forever. But when I was younger, didn't see myself in other people's stories, and I felt so alone, because I felt like there was this defined process of someone being basically neurotypical and successful; something bad happens to them, and then they get better, like that and that made me feel really, really alone. And the reason why I wanted to make this episode, the reason why I told the story I told, the way I developed it was that I wanted, I hoped, that other people wouldn't feel that way, and I wanted other people to hear stories that they could relate to, and so I guess I just want other people to know that they're not alone, even if they're not seeing their experience necessarily reflected in certain forms of media.

People are out there experiencing what you're experiencing, and that also it is really fucking hard to get better. I hope I can swear, but it is really hard to heal, and you're not there's nothing wrong with you because you're struggling, that it can take time and yeah, just try and find that little thing that just makes things that little bit easier, even if it's following someone on social media or listening to this podcast. Yeah, I think that's a little bit rambly, but I hope what I want to share has come through.

Belle 27:16

Totally! Yeah, it's been so amazing to hear the journey and your advocacy is so important. So I really appreciate what you're doing. You've been listening to Only Human and before I close this out, I should ask you, could you just tell us when this podcast is being launched and where people can find it to listen to it?

Lane 27:45

So it's being launched on February the 20th. I'd recommend you go follow the BRISSC Instagram, or we do also already have a trailer up on Spotify, if you want to go have a listen. So if you search "Resurgence: queer survivorhood" in Spotify, it should come up, but it will also get shared on the BRISSC. Instagram as well.

Belle 28:11

Amazing. Well, thank you Lane. Thanks for joining me.

Lane 28:16

Thank you so much for having me.

Belle 28:17

I'm Belle, and you've been listening to Only Human on 4ZZZ and Zed Digital.